You wanna know why the sort of advice / think piece posts based on my own real life experiences have slowed a lot compared to this time last year? I find it so cringe talking about all this stuff online, I know people that I know will see it and think lol what a wetty so cringe so embarrassing ur life is tragic x, except they won’t actually think that and it’s just my own internal cringe issues making me think so.
I find everything cringe and wet and drippy, both when it comes to my own actions and other people’s actions towards me, and I end up thinking everyone will see the world through the same cringe issue tinted glasses as me, so it stops me doing stuff that I think is cringe and wet and drippy.
The cringe issues are holding me back though, so I’m thinking if I face them head on (aka write about them online which goes against every cringe issue fibre in my body) then maybe I can start getting over them?
What are cringe issues you ask? Lol pls let me be you, I wish I didn’t know what they were. In my eyes, it’s just when you find almost every single slightly nice or emotionally-charged thing in the world cringe and drippy and wet. If someone is nice to me – nothing else, just nice – it cringes me out. Like, where’s the slagging each other off??? Where’s the games??? Where’s the bitchiness??? For example, I find writing posts like this cringe. Why am I telling the online world about my personal thoughts as if I think people are really fascinated and really care. I find it cringe when a boy treats me nicely as opposed to playing the Snapchat games of I took four minutes to reply so he’s taking six. I’ve barely gotten over finding it cringe to comment nice things on fellow bloggers’ posts because it used to just feel like something a cringe stalker fan would do. I find it cringe when two people suddenly announce their relo to the world via a joint ‘gram account and are suddenly the softest they’ve ever been (props if you know what I’m referencing here hahaha sorry I love you both x).
In all honesty, it’s the reason I put a sarcastic kiss on the end of a lot of things and write lol after saying them and put stuff in ~sarcastic wavy lines~ to take the piss. Like, most of the time I am using them to genuinely take the piss. But there are plenty of times I’ll soften the blow of saying something cringey by using a sarcastic kiss or a ~~ around the edges to make you all aware of the fact that yes, I’m already aware that I’m saying something wet and drippy, so you don’t need to call me out for it.
I struggle to show my appreciation and affection for people because I find it cringe to actually express it, so I sorta end up sitting there with all this love and admiration in my heart (ok, that part is really cringe, not just for me with cringe issues, right?) hoping that my friends or family or whoever just know that it’s there without me having to step into wetty territory to say it or express it.
And I literally was the peak cringe bitch when I was younger. At like 13/14 I used to retweet all that disgusting shit on Twitter of relationship goals and all the date idea bucket list things and the present ideas like 365 jelly beans for 365 days together xxxxx and I probably overdosed on cringe and had enough to last me a lifetime and put myself right off of it. But I need to learn the difference between 14yo me retweeting quotes that say ‘let’s cuddle ♡‘ and someone just being happy and positive and nice, and expressing those emotions. (lol I can’t believe I just admitted this shit)
I feel like a lot of people are going to read this now and think that I’ve been brainwashed by something similar to fragile masculinity and the patriarchal society we live in because I think that showing and expression certain types of emotion is cringe. I’m sorry!!!!! It genuinely is a toxic belief and I’m fully aware of it and that’s why I wanna talk about it, as fun and games as laughing about cringe issues might seem on the surface it probably does stem from negative associations around showing emotion and that’s so so so toxic and I don’t wanna fall victim to the toxicity of all that. Girl’s tryna work on it, that’s why I’m here rn.
So I’m going to make an effort to force myself out of this cringe issue mindset. Do the things that make me cringe in an effort to remove the cringe that I associate with them. A shock therapy of sorts. I’m (really trying to) let people treat me nicely without branding them a drip and writing them off for being too cringe. I’m gonna try to write these types of blog posts again. Feel like this is my first step – acknowledging the problem and all that. Let’s hope it goes well and whatever internalised cynicism that lives inside me moves tf out for good.
Pls tell me I’m not the only one with cringe issues though??