So today I’m going to talk about something a bit fun and lighthearted instead of fashion or beauty. I say fun and lighthearted but this is something that, despite being a funny and popular concept at the moment in social media, can be a genuine problem when the wrong people are involved and people get hurt. (Also props to me for venturing outside of my comfort zone and taking my first ever outfit photos for this blog – not even used for an outfit post though)
You’ve probably seen the word ‘fuckboy’ used on every girly / sassy / girl things / relatable / nutella Twitter account known to man but just what is a fuckboy? What makes someone a fuckboy? And how can you avoid a fuckboy? Well, I’m going to give you the foolproof guide in how to identify, spot and avoid a fuckboy. Since some people that I know and am close to have personally encountered a fuckboy, I want to make sure that what happened to them won’t happen to anybody else. Plus when they were each going through it I was frantically googling various things along the lines of ‘what do I do if my friend is being played by a guy?’ So if you are in the position that I was in, look no further than here because girl, I feel you.
First of all, Urban Dictionary defines a fuckboy (but they spell it as fuckboi) as ‘A guy who tried to get with everyone. A player. A guy who will lie to a girl to make them hook up with them or send pics. They think they are the shit when they aren’t. A guy who will only date a girl for their body. A total ass. A guy that will make a girl cry and laugh, and a guy who lies when they said I love you.’ Props to you, Urban Dictionary. That definition is pretty accurate from what I’ve seen. My own personal definition of a fuckboy (based purely on the certain few that I know of) is ‘a guy that’s still so immature that he thinks with what’s in his pants rather than with his head or heart which results in him enjoying playing many girls, and a guy who has sociopathic tendencies.’ Bringing sociopathic traits into this is quite extreme and I don’t want to be politically incorrect with what I say but with the fuckboys that I have mutually encountered, they definitely had all the characteristics of a genuine sociopath (I think one might actually be a sociopath, no disrespect obviously though) which is something even worse and even more dangerous than just being a fuckboy.
Spotting a fuckboy is easy when you know what one actually is, just look for all of the things that make them a fuckboy and you’ll know that you’ve found one (lucky you). Here are some giveaway signs that a guy you may know or know of is a fuckboy.
- They have absolutely no remorse for what they’re doing to the girls they’re playing. When you view the situation from the outside looking in, it seems like the fuckboy actually has no feelings at all, even if he tells a girl (or multiple girls) that he loves them.
- They know exactly how to get into your head (or your friends head if you want to spot a fuckboy in a guy that someone you know is involved with) and they do it without their victim realising. They can control and manipulate a girl without the girl knowing that it’s happening to them.
- They think they can drop you and then pick you up whenever they please, and they do this. Sometimes they’ll just stop talking to you because they’re bored or something, and you’re left wondering what you’ve done wrong (which is another way that a fuckboy can get in your head, he can flip things on you and make you think that it’s you who’s done something wrong when it’s not you at all) until they suddenly talk to you again a few days or weeks later.
- One foolproof way in how to spot a fuckboy is to find out your friends opinion of the guy! This is so important! Your friends always want what’s best for you! (Can you hear the screams of frustration coming from me here since I’ve been that friend way too many times). If your friends don’t like him or have an off feeling towards him, he’s bad news. He’s a fuckboy. Be done with him.
- They enjoy the chase. Fuckboys enjoy the challenge of a girl that isn’t easy to please. They’ll carry on with the chase because when they finally ‘accomplish their mission’ (which is definitely the way they see this girl) it’ll make their ego even bigger and they’ll feel fulfilled. Also, once they’ve finally got what they wanted from the girl who is their challenge, they’ll be done with her because there’s no more excitement in it for them.
- They always lead on more than one girl at a time. They’ll have the many desperate girls who fall at their feet despite them being ugly and having the personality of a brick wall in some cases. They’ll have the one girl who is a challenge for them. They’ll play all of these girls against each other and then they’ll just talk shit about every girl behind their backs anyway. They’ll say that they have the girls ‘whipped’ and brag about it. Girls, you ain’t shit to a fuckboy. You’re just another notch on the bedpost for them. (I’m sorry I had to use tough love at some point).
- They’re always changing their minds, and they don’t care at all. This links in with them playing many girls at one time because this is the reason they always change their minds about what they want from each girl and who they prefer. This also links in with them having no remorse (the main sociopathic tendancy) because they genuinely don’t care and don’t see any wrong in what they’re doing at all.
- They’re cheaters. If you’re the girl who they’re flirting with while they have a boyfriend then get out now because if they cheat on someone else to get you, they’ll cheat on you to get someone else. That statement is so important, I recite it all the time.
So now that you’ve identified and spotted a fuckboy, how are you supposed to avoid them? What do you do if you’re already stuck under their spell? What do you do if you see these things happening to some of your friends (these girls, I’m so with you) and want to help? What do you do if a fuckboy has already used you to get what he wanted all along? Let’s go through some tips.
- If you want to avoid a fuckboy, you’ll need to block them out of your life completely. This also goes for what you should do when he’s already got what he wanted out of you, because once they’ve done that you should just drop them and avoid them. This means blocking them from every form of social media ever (even the ones you’d forget like askfm, whatsapp and tumblr) and blocking their number from texting, calling or facetiming you. Also, ignore them whenever you encounter them in person. Act like they don’t exist, look straight through them and do not interact with them,
- If you’re stuck under their spell but you’re now seeing the light, get the fuck outta there. Tell them that you’re done with them and then never speak to them again. Trust me, when you tell them that you’re done you’ll feel so satisfied. And let’s be real, the fuckboy was just going to drop you like that eventually anyway so do it to him before he can do it to you. Then just ignore him. Unfollow or unfriend him and if he ever texts or calls, don’t answer. If you ever see him out and about, ignore. Blocking like I suggested above is optional.
- If you are that girl (holla at me) who has to watch as multiple people you know are falling under the spell of a fuckboy then listen up. Do not constantly tell your friend that the guy is bad news! You will push her further away from you and closer to the fuckboy. That’s bad news because if you do that, he can easily manipulate her and turn her against you. Give your friend tough love, but don’t belittle her. Don’t be patronising or repetitive. Say what you feel but let them have space to make their own judgement. And if your friend does get burned, just be there. No ‘I told you so’. I guarantee you that a few months down the line, you’ll all be laughing about how she ever gave a fuckboy the time of day in the first place.
- If you’ve been used by a fuckboy so he could get what he wanted then be the bigger person, rise above it and ignore them. Plus, even if you don’t say anything your friends will (once again, holla at me) so you don’t even need to say anything. Let your friends make themselves look bad because they’ll be happy to do it if it means they can call out the fuckboy. Think about it this way, you would still be stuck under his spell if you never realised that he was just trying to get what he wanted out of you, so it happened for the best. So rise above it. Oh, and do the thing where you block him out of your life too.
So that was my foolproof guide on fuckboys. I feel totally inappropriate having a post full of swearing on my blog but you gotta do what you gotta do to prevent girls getting played! It was a more of a funny post but please honestly be careful if you or someone you know encounters a guy like this. I’m speaking in general now when I say that you don’t want a ‘fuckboy’ to get in your head and control you so much so that you end up doing something severe that you didn’t actually want to do, or so much that you end up feeling like a mug who’s had their heart broken. Girls deserve way better than that. And if all else fails, play him at his own game (jokes, don’t actually do that because then it makes you just as low as him but it’s a fun form of revenge if you’re the friend of someone who encountered a fuckboy *evil laugh*). Just remember that karma is a beautiful thing. The fuckboy will probably end up losing his job or failing his exams or something because he spent too much time playing multiple girls instead of focusing on bettering his life and career.