This feels so alien to me. Idk what I’m doing.
It feels like blogs really did just die. None of the people I originally followed for their actual blogs use them anymore. We all have them and just keep paying the hosting and domain fees, and pop back every so often from time to time, with those moments getting even more few and far between as the months and years pass.
I felt compelled to come back on here, mostly just to see if the website still existed tbh, but then it made me think of some of the old blogs I used to enjoy reading and I went to read them, and that reminded me how much I loved actually writing on this blog.
Part of me was tempted to do an Instagram story about the fact that I was back on the blog with a nice mysterious ‘👀’ and another part of me was tempted to do a Twitter poll on whether anyone would even read a blog anymore (remember when I used to Twitter poll EVERYTHING in 2018!!!) but I also knew that if anyone gave any indication that blogs were over or they wouldn’t read one anymore, I’d get scared and back out.
I don’t even know what this post is, mostly I just want to get back on here and write. Write about tennis mostly, but write about ~ how I feel ~ and what I’m wearing and all of that stuff.
I found a draft I must’ve written in late August / early September when I got back on here just now, a fully finished blog post from start to finish about my self-confidence and how I felt about myself, and I’m pretty gutted I didn’t post it at the time.
Reading it back 1. made me realise that it was just a few months into the deep loss-of-self-confidence hole I think I am still in now because of some traumatic stuff that happened at uni, I just hadn’t realised at the time where the problem stemmed from, and 2. made me think that it was exactly the purpose of this blog, and that I wanted to use it for that purpose.
Some of these posts seem very me me me. I think I held back from posting it because it felt very pity party for one, a whole however many hundreds of words all about the horrible way I was feeling about myself inside and what physical attributes about myself brought on the feelings of resentment towards myself. It felt selfish and self-indulgent, like I was moaning about all these things nobody cared about. But I’d like to hope that if that post was written now, I’d actually hit publish. Because I want to hit publish on a blog post again and if I still have those domain and hosting costs I mentioned, why not make the most of it.
I remember the blogging era of sort of 2016-2018 when we were all doing posts on whether blogging was dying out. Everyone was merging over to YouTube, everyone was posting to Instagram a lot more consistently than they were to their blogs, everyone was starting a podcast or had a book deal. So we all (myself included) wrote blog posts about whether blogging was dying, what the state of the blogging industry had become, whether Instagram was killing it and we’d all stop our blogs to purely do it for the ‘gram. And now it’s 2021, we all really did stop our blogs to only do Instagram. And maybe some YouTube videos.
It makes sense, because we can just rant about this stuff in our Instagram stories now. The long girl talk stuff a lot of us used to do on these blogs, we can either text post them on Instagram or do a little talking video with captions instead (hey I called it three years ago that these Snapchat-like little talking videos would become the new daily vlog and form of communication!) plus it’s more interactive with the replies and the polls and the Q&A boxes. Like what need is there to blog again? I am literally talking myself out of this already lol.
So yeah. I don’t know what this post is. It’s partly a genuine question – does anyone even read blogs anymore? And even if the answer is no, because what blogs are there even left to read, would they if the post was just there? It’s partly me attempting to make a return to this blog and get myself going with blog posts again, whether or not blogs are fully dead and gone. Also it’s just partly me bored because my boyfriend has gone to football training and most of my friends are still at uni.
But I can’t ignore how nice it was to read some old blogs that I used to follow and to even read some of my posts. I can’t ignore how nice it feels to just write a blog post again. I’ve wanted to return for so long with so many concrete ideas in my head for posts. Most of them tennis, some of them the good lifestyle girl talk think post stuff we all used to love doing. And I’ve just never bit the bullet in the last few months of having these ideas.
So yeah, remember this old blog thing? I wanna do it again, even if I’m the only one reading it.
Now watch me dip again for nine months and make another comeback in 2022.